Lingering Discontent

                                                           (Nov 07)

                                             Lingering Discontent

   
                            

                                    Observing human beings, self included

                                    one can often see a lingering discontent inside

                                    that no chocolate, cigarettes, beer, clothes, sex, travel
                                    or any of the entire earth's other

                                    little or mighty thrills can ever heal or satisfy.

                                    Often originated sometime back  ...

                                    An unconscious attempt to bury and forget
                                    followed by the consequent unconscious
                                    lifelong ''running away'' from then on.

                                   For a long time while one is young

                                   there is an open road ahead
                                   offering  multitudes of little or big opportunities
                                   of  numerous distractions fuelling the running away
                                   as well as illusions of hope
                                   that all is straightened, left behind, or forgotten
                                   but eventually one reaches the end of the road
                                   with a disturbing realisation
                                  that there is nowhere to hide
                                  nowhere to escape or to run to
                                  and there is no other solution
                                  than to stop, turn back and face it.

                                  Blame will not heal, running away will not heal
                                  avoiding will not heal, little or big thrills, acquisitions
                                  achievements and recognitions will not ever heal
                                  Even religion or spirituality will not heal
                                  if sought solely as a refuge away from the problem.

                                  It will keep welling up at every opportunity

                                  in different unrecognisable forms, seemingly unrelated
                                  such as unwarranted anger, deep resentments

                                  misplaced hostilities, unexplained tears
                                  or just as a deep dark lingering of ever present misery
                                  that colours everything gray
                                  and stifles - except temporarily - all aspects of life,
                                  hope, expression and happiness.

                                  There is no other way - no other solution
                                   than to stop, turn back and face it.

                                   Face it ... Feel it...Live it ...and Re-live it

                                   Feel it and Live it or it will not go away!

                                   Old suppressed unconscious pain

                                   is like dark murky petrol that its fumes pervade everything

                                   ever ready to ignite in small explosions at a time

                                   all throughout life
                                   but Only the " Fire " of persistent ''Living it'' can exhaust it.

                                 "Feeling and Living it" in order to Know, Heal and Move on
                                  is entirely different than for ever ''Dwelling in it''
                                  blindly and without any purpose.

                                  The purpose is to Know - Acknowledge and be Liberated.

                                  At times  unbearable and very painful endeavour indeed
                                  but with a tremendously liberating force.

                                  Never to travel paths that lead into traps and pain again

                                  Never to chase shadows of the past
                                  or unconsciously create new ones for the future.

                                  Never to chase illusions that did not ever exist in the first place.

                                  Never to project or expect anything from anyone out there
                                  for a need that can only be satisfied from the inside.

                                  Never to feel  victim of any circumstances.

                                 Takes time, continual awareness, alertness
                                 and constant introspection but it is worth it
                                 metaphorically speaking, as much as the mortgage
                                 that buys one their Own chosen home.

                                                                           *
                                 The word 'Never' is not to be interpreted as a once off effort.

                                  It is used for emphasis of a slow yet steady and definite result.
                                  In time it can come to mean true.