Conversation with God!?

                                                                 ( Feb 11 ) 

                                              Conversation with God?...

                                                      I am a Believer...

                                        

                                                   In more ways than one.

                                                     How could i not be?

                               I am always reaching beyond personal limitations

                               gathering and incorporating more on the way

                               much like a river gathers joining streams

                               flowing on its way towards the Sea.

                               I often envy those who believe that God speaks to them

                               or they have conversations with Him and are His favourite

                               and think they know Him and His will etc - all straight and set

                              -and surprisingly it is always a "He" and "His" too.

                               The best i can manage myself, even during my holiest

                               most spiritual moments are either stillness or timelessness

                               and in the worst a conversation with the depths

                               of my own mind which i never mistaken as something else.

                               So when it comes to the Creator

                               if there is a Personal one...

                               i prefer to be uncertain and open

                               rather than certain and fixed

                               so there will be no surprises

                               other than what i already know that i dont know

                               ...including the unique but impossible chance

                                of a true discovery of the type of ‘face to face’ encounter...

                                I just wonder why would "He" have favourites

                                when there are so many desperate souls seeking Him

                                and many in such pain and suffering that their cry

                                could pierce any human heart right to its center

                                yet their calls would appear unmet...

                               "Being tested" ... would be a poor answer...

                                We are all tested to some degree every moment of our lives

                                right from our first breath to the moment of our last one.

                                I am not sure that my confusion is stemming from
                                any uncertainty or judgement of Divine will or manifestation
                                but rather from the inexplicable certainty

                                of other fellow human beings and their exclusive way

                                of experiencing, or their belief that they do.

                                Enlightenment is something you go to and work hard for

                                and may take many life times ...if it works like that...

                                 I can understand Man going to the Mountain principle

                                 but the Mountain going to Man...?.....some lucky souls!

                                 I know many would have the answers to this ready

                                 and possibly tailor made to personal satisfaction

                                 but i prefer to wait patiently for a day

                                 when an all-inclusive one is offered

                                 which would truly be a surprise...

                                 In the meantime i observe the Universe

                                 and marvel at all the miracles that take place every day

                                 every moment - quietly and uneventfully uncelebrated.