My Life’s Dancing Devils ...

                                                       (February 13)

         

                               My Life’s Dancing Devils ... 

                                    

                                      During the past Three years
                                      of enduring serious illness taking me away steadily

                                      i have often come to Believe

                                      that i am Alive ... in Hell!

                                      Surrounded by many different tormenting Devils

                                      on a continual roster taking turns torturing me

                                      and when one stops another one starts

                                      frequently working in pairs

                                      so all 'changes over' overlap with no break

                                      often suffering three of them at once

                                      and impossible to fight as they keep moving

                                      and altering rules and types of torture ...

                                      I am Enduring patiently all day long

                                      with minimal sounds betraying any pain.

                                      No need my entire body is a mirror 

                                      and an eloquent picture of it all

                                      Does anything go away when i close my eyes?

                                      No!...

                                      Every pain, every discomfort, every injury

                                      penetrates potently through sleep...

                                      the body constantly aware of its suffering

                                      often my woeful moaning

                                      waking me up several times during the night.

                                      I do all i Know to heal this body as best i Can

                                      while endeavouring to Transmute and Transcend

                                      its physical tormenting and challenging reality

                                      through my mind and turning every experience

                                      into creativity, helping to see it all from an above

                                      remote, detached level of mind

                                      as well as focus on more interesting uplifting issues...

                                       This has proved helpful, comforting and therapeutic 
                                       but there are moments i wonder 
                                       had there been a choice  of a peaceful, natural
                                       "Delete" key, which of the two options
                                       would i have chosen as my  preferred one ...

                                                           

Life's Benevolence

                                        (February 11)

                           Life's Benevolence
     
                      

                  For a while now Life's circumstances have denied me

                  of Things and People i Loved,

                  Enjoyed and Identified with.

                  I made the very human unwise error

                  to instead of accepting and letting go

                  - as i eventually had to -

                  to struggle and try to chase and replace

                  with what would  or could Not possibly

                  be the same as what was taken away

                  -thus experiencing the loss twice.

                  Yet the replacement is only a perception of the mind

                  which creates material limitations and differentiations.

                  Every Person, every Face, every Smile,

                  every Word, every Heart and every Sentiment Shared

                  is like a Ray from the Sun

                  created by the same Source that created us all

                  myself, my Loved ones, and everyone else alike

                  and this is where i found Life's Benevolence

                  grateful for receiving what - and when- needed

                  in this unique magnificent way

                  of Life Connecting a Rich array of Human threads.

                                                    *  *  *

                                      I feel the Clock ticking

                          anxious i am not where i want to be

                                      before i am no more.

                                            One by one ...

                          Barriers and illusions are falling...

                                        

NO DEFEAT

No Defeat

EVERY DAY THAT GOES BY

Every day that goes By

THROUGH A WINDOW

Through a Window

For Complete Entry Click Link:  Through a Window

WAKING REALITY

* Waking Reality

For Full Entry Click :   WhenReality Ceases To Be

To My Valentine

To My Valentine 

TIGRESS REFLECTING

Tigress Reflecting

DISGUISED DESIRE

Disguised Desire?

SANDCASTLES

Sandcastles

No One is Given More than they Can Bear ? ? ?

                                                                         ( Jan 13 )

                No One is Given More than they Can Bear ? ? ?

                           

                                It Sounds Comforting

                                but does it meet with Reality?

                                Reality Indicates many Tormented Souls

                                Buckle Under the weight ‘given’ them

                                and some Force a Premature End to their lives...

                                So then the Challenging Questions would be:

  

                                * How True is the dictum

                                * Who or what determines it IS True

                                * Who or What determines How Much Can be Given

                                * Who or What determines How Much Can One Bear

                                * Who IS the Giver and Why

                                * What is the Purpose of being given a ‘Lot’ to Bear

                                 

                                * How much of the 'Lot' is caused by

                                   Personal Unconscious Contributions

                                   due to harsh upbringing environment

                                   negative beliefs, detrimental patterns

                                           and so on...

                                                 

                                       

Among Hearts and Butterflies

 ( Sep 09 )

Among Hearts and Butterflies

 

An unexpected Worm!

Clearing my 'Sent' email folders recently

          i discovered red faced and to my utter dismay
this precious gem  on an elaborately 
 pesronalised card
  i had sent to my husband days earlier

that bypassed both my attention

as well as the spell checker

 

 

TIGRESS AND PREY

Tigress And Prey

SOUND OF A WOLF

Sound of a Wolf

DEATH IS LIGHT

Death Is Light

TIGRESS ON THE PROWL

Tigress On The Prowl

A Billboard Message

                                                       ( Jan 10)

                                           A Billboard Message
                                     

                                       My Man sent me a Photo

                                  attached to this email message:  

                                                  

                " Been meaning to send you this photo for some time :)
                  Reminds me of Your Fruit Drink every time I see it

                                       driving by this Billboard!..."

                   

                               Not that i would ever do such thing

                               while thoroughly and unrestrainedly

                                             Enjoying my Fruity!... 

                                                             

                                                 Ok!... ... Maybe!......

         

                                                   And Maybe...

                              I also make the Pleasurable sounds

                                          that come with it too!

                                    I Admit... i just cannot Resist...

                                               

Retreating...

 Retreating ...

                                         

                                    Retreating to the Core of my Being

                                    Away from the Clamour of the World

                                    Restores my Inner Balance 


                                       
                                                           

IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES

Ideals and Principles

MOMENTS OF TRUTH

Moments Of Truth

True Value

                                                    ( Jan 13 )

                                True Value


                                    

            
            Due to recent deterioration of my Lung condition

            my Man has shouldered most of my previous responsibilities.

            One of them was going together to The Sunday Markets

            for our Fortnightly Fruit and  Vegetable supplies.

            I am too weak to go out so he has to go alone.

            Last Sunday he returned with a bagful of small

            pitiful mandarin size avocados,

            having paid a rather unacceptable price of $2 each

             I looked at them and thought:

             “ Minus the Skin and Seed... 

             hardly leaves a tablespoon of pulp ” 

             so i exclaimed in dismay:

             “ I know it is not the season and i know they are important
              as the richest source providing readily bio-available Iron
              but this is a plain ‘Daylight Robbery!’ any way i look at it.

                                       
                

               I would have not bought them if i was there

               pity as it might be, i would have let them rot instead

               rather than give in  into the sellers greed”

               The Number of them allowed me to have one with each

               of my three daily meals.

               Soon i discovered that the third one of Fresh steamed Veggies

               without it was challengingly Blunt and hard to enjoy .

               Funny that, because avocado is a fairly blunt tasting

               creature itself, yet mixed with practically any meal

               it adds not only rich nutritional value

               but also a creamy heavenly taste and substance.

               This Morning while the last pitifully small avocado

               was standing in front of me on a tray,

               i looked at it with different eyes...

               I thought if it belonged to someone else

               and i had a $2 coin in my hand

               would i choose to keep my coin 
               or would i exchange giving it 
               and bringing the avocado home?

               No need to say 
               Nothing seemed Smaller and More Pitiful

               than my $2 coin in my hand... 
               and not a moment’s  hesitation for a wise exchange...

               Grateful to my Man... he chose My Health before Money

               and as for me... i am glad i saw the true value, even if delayed.

                               And I am Glad to Declare:

                                

                                       I Love Avocados!...